General News
4 August, 2025
The Hayes' look back on 65 years of marriage
"Respect and tolerance" are the two main key ideas to a long-lasting marriage, according to Tess and Bob Hayes, who celebrated 65 years of marriage in July.
They first met at the Dimboola Regatta in November 1956, at a dance.
"I don't know what Tess did afterwards, but I didn't go out with anyone else," Bob said.
"It was a comfortable fit and we got on well together.
"We didn't know each other before that. I knew who Tess was, but I hadn't met her."
They began dating in 1957 before they married in 1960 at St Michael's Church in Horsham.
"We started off like most couples in those days, we didn't have much," Bob said.
They built a house in Alexander Avenue where they stayed for nine years and raised their four children, Jan, Kerri, Cate and Peter.
They rented a place for 12 months before purchasing another house in Bowen Street.
In 1973, the family uprooted their lives and moved to Bendigo for Bob's work.
During this time, Tess was an emergency teacher for three days, which eventually led to 10 years at St Peter's in North Bendigo.
After 10 years, Bob received another job opportunity, which saw the family move to Melbourne, before returning to Bendigo for another five years.
Bob then received the opportunity to take on the franchise, Forty Winks, in Horsham 35 years ago.
"I don't know where the time has gone," Bob said.
"When you look at all the pieces, where has it all gone? Why didn't we do more? I don't know how we would've fitted in anymore," Tess added.
Looking over the moment they returned to Horsham, Tess said she didn't want to come back but saw how much of an opportunity this was for Bob.
"We belong in this area even though I didn't want to come back," she said.
When asked what they thought the secret to a long-lasting marriage is, Bob jokingly said, "The husband doing what they're told".
"You don't always have to agree," Tess said.
"Tolerance. You've got to live with the man, you've got to have a bit of tolerance, don't you?
"A big thing is respect and to be able to talk to each other."
Bob said a marriage is a "give and take thing", and also having similar interests, such as dances and footy, helped them develop their relationship together.
Looking back at all the fun family moments, days out at the footy were always a highlight.
"Those days, we could go to the football in Melbourne and sit anywhere," Tess said.
"Peter had his clappers, and he'd be racing around the whole grandstand.
"It was a relaxing, fun day."
A family tradition that has been upheld for 18 years is a "Hayes Day", which is filled with golfing fun.
"We invite friends and we've had up to 40 to 45 out for a Sunday at the Horsham Golf Course," Bob said.
"We put on afternoon tea, and we have trophies."
Bob explained that there is a Hayes trophy for family members and a jacket available for everyone else.
"They're just things in the family that I suppose keep us together," Bob said.
They now have seven grandchildren and six great-grandchildren who are spread between Bendigo, Melbourne and Horsham.
A piece of advice that the pair shared for couples now is to look at the relationship as a commitment.
"It's a commitment to live together, love each other, and that might sound a bit corny, but that's what it's all about," Bob said.
